Llama Drama

I hate it when people spit on the road. For whatever reason they are doing it I detest it. There is something so disgusting and a-social about this type of behavior. I used to think this way at least. And then, I started running… and spitting.

photo courtesy of pixabay
I’m becoming the human llama; photo courtesy of pixabay

I am a little ashamed of myself, but I spit on the ground when I run, especially in Summer. I didn’t use to spit. When we started running in the Spring it was cold and we were running less than 15 minutes. I didn’t need to spit. But, as the temperature has risen and we are closing in on a full hour of running I’ve become a spitting machine.

photo courtesy of pixabay
My face will soon appear here; photo courtesy of pixabay

I don’t know what has happened to me, but I am producing saliva like it’s gold and I’m going to sell it to make my millions.

I can’t not spit either. Believe me, I’ve tried, but I feel like I will gag.

I’m not the prissy, drinks coffee with my pinkies up kind of girl, but I have manners and social decorum. I don’t want to be a hypocrite, but is there any way to stop spitting while running? Whoever thinks of that solution is rich, as my hubby would say.

And, to make matters worse, while I already feel bad about spitting, my husband doesn’t spit at all when we run. I feel like we have switched gender roles. Aren’t men supposed to spit and women be dainty little flowers who never sweat (I wish!)? All I need is a big silver belt buckle and a cowboy hat.

photo courtesy of pixabay
photo courtesy of pixabay

What’s crazy is my pace picks up when I spit. It’s like the extra saliva weighs me down or holds me back. As soon as it flies through the air and I hear it, over my music, splat on the ground my legs start moving faster.

So, as we run through the park I spit. Probably every 5 minutes. I wonder if spitting is like cleaning your ears. They say the more you clean your ears the more wax they produce and then, of course, you have to clean your ears more often. At least this was the horror story they told us as kids. Like one day we could possibly have to clean our ears multiple times a day. It’s a crazy cycle that has no end.

If I spit while running does it make me spit more? Will I eventually just become a human water fountain?

Do you spit when you run? Do you have deep self-loathing about it? Or are you one of those runners who just keeps it all inside?


14 thoughts on “Llama Drama

  1. I’ve only spit a handful of times total in my running history. I’m not a spitter but I carry water on all runs so maybe that helps? Do whatever helps you run, I say. Go for it. Spit away lol

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Haha, I spit and snot rocket proudly when I run. I mean, I usually try to wait until I’m not passing people or near cars that can be in my line of fire, but I definitely don’t hold back! Welcome to the club ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh boy…I’m guilty. Big spitter. There used to be an Indian couple that walked in the park where I run. I noticed that the man scowled at me VERY aggressively every time I passed them. I finally figured out that he was offeneded by my spitting (i of course didn’t spit on them!)…like maybe it means you hate someone in their culture if you speak in their presence? Anyway, haven’t seen them in the park for a few years. Must have scared them off!


  4. Every runner has something. It may be spitting, weird breathing, farting. Something. And you never see/hear/smell this “something” in any other context but when the runner is running. Thank God lol ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This made me giggle, because my husband spits, and I hate it. I also don’t understand it! I’ve never felt the need to do it. But, it does seem to be quite a common thing to do. He’s a “proper” runner, and often breathes through his nose when he runs. I’ll leave it to your imagination how this affects things during the winter, when he’s properly “in the zone” and not noticing fully what’s happening to any excess snot….

    Liked by 1 person

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